What happen is just like Righting Moment

Assalamualaikum.With the name of Allah.

Although we are on the right track, it is possible we do not know our true direction. Maybe we just follow the flow without understand why we are on the track.

Honestly I say..I just like a ship that will roll after being attacked by the wave.

But thanks to Allah, there was righting moments which stabilized me and minimized the heeling.

Oh by the way. Righting moment is the torque which tends to restore a vessel heeled over to its upright position. [Answer.com]

Before, I always got a 'qudwatulhasanah' roommate.Although I wasn't follow their lifestyle on the spot, (err.actually I have no intention to follow them),but they made me try to be better than what i was.

I tried to act like a 'good muslim girl' as them just to make myself similar like them. You know, it will be not cool if we seems like a stranger.So, that was me, pretending. I keep asking myself: 'why they are so kind and solehah'.

But day to day, it a little bit changed me. When I being in the different places, I seem like doing the 'muslimah things' with no force. (Although it was not so istiqamah). Whenever I wanted to join my friend in not so good things, there will be better program,event or task which I should participate. Whenever I wanted to leave the 'good girl life', there came the USRAH thing that I need to attend (not so ikhlas though).

Look like I pretending..again. Yes. but I continue did it as I know, it will make my schedule packed and that will give me pressure in my study. (I'm the type of person who need pressure to excel in academic) And it is 'cool' right. When people say:'You are good in academic and busy in non academic program at the same time.' So I pretending to enjoy what I did.

Then..I tried to change the situation. I do not want always follow the flow without understand why I'm on the track. I want to know the direction. I realize that it is no use pretending. Why not stop pretend and force myself to do it with soul..with heart..with true niat.

I changed...a little. But the negative wave came again. I lost. But the righting moment is always there..tried to stabilize me to become more me.to become better.to make me appreciate the good things i have.

Thanks to Allah for giving me the righting moment whenever I affected by the wave. I always heel but they keep minimize the heeling angle.

Righting moment= the good things shared by special groups~ akhawat UTM